


Dark Alleys Talk

by BeautyInTheLibrary



Category: Batman (Comics), Batman - All Media Types, Red Hood/Arsenal (Comics), Red Robin (Comics)
Genre: M/M, Red Hood - Freeform, Red Robin, Thug POV, Young heroes in love - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-05-13
Updated: 2016-05-13
Packaged: 2018-06-08 06:29:04
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 1,943
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6842824
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/BeautyInTheLibrary/pseuds/BeautyInTheLibrary
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>This was just a simple job, in, out, done. Not something any of the cape crusaders should care about. Somebody should have mentioned it was in the Red Hood's territory. At least Red Robin showed up, maybe they won't die! Wait...what are they doing? Are they FLIRTING? Nope, they were all gonna die for sure now.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Guns and Feathers

**Author's Note:**

> I prompted myself with this one, just a little head canon/idea of my of how villains or random criminals would react to seeing the Batkids hooking up or even just heroes and finding out they are in releationships with each other, like whaaaat? Enjoy!

Jerry knew this was a terrible idea, but times was bad and he needed the money desperately. Just this one job, in and out and say his goodbyes. He’d go totally legit after he got next month’s rent covered; he’d wait in that damn unemployment line. Right now he was close to getting his electricity shut off and his landlady was starting to breathe down his neck. Len said it was just an easy smash and grab, nothing the big baddies of Gotham would care enough about and the caped freaks to even respond to. Not in their turf anyway.

So Jerry felt as good as he could as the job started out, took out a few guards, nothing that would last but it wouldn’t feel pretty in the morning. The rest of the crew got the goods in hand, they were all heading out. They were home free.

He didn’t know how it happened, he was only aware of how much pain he was in, slumped against the alley wall, blinking in and out of it. All his buddies were either groaning on the ground or not moving. There was a ringing in his ears that many Gothomaites knew was from recent gun fire, oh god how many of them were de…

That’s when he noticed the man that was starting to tie up the ones that still were moaning about their heads. Jerry’s never personally seen him before, but whispers on the streets made the Red Hood unmistakable, who else would be wearing a full face helmet like that? This was it; this was how he was going to die. Just to make his damn rent, just so he could have his fridge working. All over a couple hundred dollars because no other work was hiring. The forgotten goon, would be craved in his tomb stone.

“Must you, really?” A voice rang out from above them in the alley, Jerry looked up, hope springing forth in his chest. Red Robin was frowning down at the Hood, flipping off the fire escape with grace and easy, catching a rail to soften his landing next to the murderous vigilante. “Tsk tsk.”

Bless the stars, who knew he’d be so glad to see one of the caped crusaders! He was saved, he was gonna make it, he was…was Robin smiling at the Hood? 

“Come on, Babybird, they had it coming. Do you have any idea where we are right now?” The Hood retorted, waving his hand at the building they hit. Jerry looked and saw a sign for some charitable organization; you’ve got to be kidding. That’s what they hit? Of all the…

“Still…” Robin continued, kicking one of the other guys in face when he started coming to, “You didn’t have to shoot them.”

“Would it make you feel better if I said none of them were dead?” Hood reached up and pressed something on his helmet that released the back, taking it off.

Robin seemed to think about it and take in the big grin on Hood’s face, still covered in a domino mask. The smaller of the two cocked his head and looked over the crew.

“I don’t think I’d believe you.” He finally said, backing up as the Hood crowded him against the alley way.

Oh no, what if Red Robin couldn’t take him? What if the Hood killed him too? Jerry WAS done for, there was no way any of them were getting out of this, this was it. He should have just caved and taken that burger flipping job, he should of just…did Red Robin just…giggle?

“I haven’t seen you in months and all yer gonna do is lecture? I’ve been a very good boy I’ll have you know~” Hood purred, actually purred, as he nuzzled into the crook of Red Robin’s neck. And Robin totally let him?? What was going on?

“Have you, now? Not what I hear, ah~” Robin moaned, yep that was the sound of a moan, what the hell? Jerry could only imagine the Hood was biting his neck, from where he was sitting. This was NOT something he wanted to see, or even know about! He thought they were enemies or something!

“You heard wrong, Nightwing is a Dick~” He cooed, pressing his body against the smaller man, sliding his hands down the hero, hitching his legs up to force them to wrap around the Hood’s waist. Robin laughed as if there was an actual joke in there, burying his fingers in the Hood’s black hair.

There were a few lewd noises as the two slotted their mouths together, this was not the first time this has happened, there was definitely a sense of familiarity in this dance. Jerry wanted to throw up, mainly in fear and confusion. He should not be conscious for this. Why couldn’t he out like the others? Or dead, dead would be better. Maybe not, but this was not better.

Red Hood started moving his hands around the waist of Robin, only to get it slapped away.

“You really think I’m doing that, here?” Robin chided, but not sounding that surprised it was suggested.

Hood only smirked, going for his neck again and grinding against his trapped prey. The NOISES Robin made, Jerry was going to Arkham after this, he was losing his mind that this was even possibly his life right now. He swore he heard Robin just moan letters, o’s, j’s and who knew what else! He was trying NOT to pay attention. Why was he still even watching? Must be like that train crash kind of thing. 

“You cheater~” Red Robin sighed, digging his fingers into the base of Hood’s hair, suddenly catching Jerry’s eyes before tensing.

“Babe?” Hood asked, feeling the difference immediately. Robin gave him three quick taps to the neck before Hood took the que to see what the former boy wonder was looking at.

What happened next was possibly the reason Jerry woke up later with piss stains all over his pants.

Hood let Robin drop to his feet, pulling out one of the pistols that probably killed the boss. He walked slowly, surely, in a way predators walked to the injured gazelle. No hurry, basking in the final kill, watching the light leave the eyes.

Hood crouched down, studied Jerry for a moment before his featured darkened and his hand moved so fast it couldn’t have been human, the barrel of the gun shoved under Jerry’s chin. He didn’t have time gasp, he wouldn’t have dared, and the eyes of the devil himself stared him down.

“You didn’t see…anything…got it?” The sound of the gun cocking thundered in his ears.  
“G-G-G-G-Got it!!” Jerry sputtered, watching Red Hood pull back the gun and suddenly aware of nothing but darkness.

He was definitely going legit after this, he’ll take anything but crime.


	2. Day and Knight

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Johnny was just a hacker, he was no super criminal, so why on earth was he dealing with superheroes and super problems? Maybe turning down that IT job was a mistake, because accidentally working for Lex Luthor was nothing but trouble and got him thrown through a door by the Man of Steel himself. That might smart for the rest of his life. Oh great, who was that now? Oh no...oh what are they doing...are they? They are...oh play dead Johnny boy, play dead.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Unrelated to chapter one, but the same fun concept~ Enjoy!

Oh it was just his luck, Lex Luther was behind this job? What, nobody was gonna mention that? It was just supposed to be some hacking, maybe crawl through a few vents, punch out a guard or two. Now it was the secret files on who knows what, code names were made for a reason, and now he’s handed them over to that crazy pot. Which would be all fine and good, big pay day, go home and try to straighten out his stupid life, but no, no it was never that easy in Gotham. Not when master criminal’s like Lex came into town, more than likely bringing the Man of Steel himself.

And lo and behold, Johnny boy was right again, they might as well have been fighting a tank. Goons flew left and right, and Lex was gone long before ole Boy Scout got there, of course. Did he believe any of them that they did not know where Lex was, of course not.

As if it couldn’t possibly get any worse, at the end when everyone was through a wall, up in the rafters and laying all over the warehouse floors, it was as disaster.

And who should show up but Batman himself? Johnny was just a hacker, this was WAY over his pay grade, he could hardly take out beefy guards, he certainly couldn’t take the Dark Knight! Or get past him, Superman had already threw him through the door to the security room at that point, he was down and out. All the cameras in the world couldn’t have helped them at the speed Man Wonder came crashing in on them.

“Any of them still awake?” Batman quipped, was he trying to be funny, impossible to tell.

“Possibly.” Now Superman WAS trying to be funny, but no one could get the Bat to laugh, it wasn’t gonna suddenly start now.

“Kal.” Ole Bats growled, chiding really. Yes, shame on you Superman. Johnny wasn’t going to clear the matter up for them though, as long they think he’s out he won’t have Batman interrogating him. That certainly aint a legal way to do anything.

“Sorry…” And he sounded like it, like he just got in trouble. “But Lex-“

“Caught and handed over to the authorities, he’s as predictable as any billionaire.” Johnny could see a playful smirk on Batman’s face from the few camera’s still functioning. What the-

Suddenly Superman was grinning and clapped his hands against Batman’s shoulders, had to be controlled since the Dark Knight didn’t even flinch. The Man of Steel was like a child in the gleeful way he thanked the other hero, like it was load off and he could go fly home and finish the latest season of his favorite show now.

“So~” He cooed to the stoic man. “You free tonight then?” That…was a very suggestive way to ask that…what did he mean by-

“Hmm, I suppose I could take off early, my previous plans were rudely interrupted before all this.” Batman, far smoother than Johnny was sure any other thug had ever heard him. He moved closer to the alien with this smile on his face…it was terrifying.

“Perhaps you could pick up where you left off?” Supes suggested, mimicking the Bat’s movement, so close and the angle of this one screen made it look like they would, they would never, but if they just moved just so they’d be…oh my god, they were!

Johnny shut his eyes, but the image of the darkest man alive and the guy who probably started the idea of good and just, they were locked by the lips. He peeked and screen was still playing this horror movie of the most unrealistic plot he’s ever encountered. Superman had a hand gently cradling the Batman’s face, fingers slipping just past the cowl, while the Bat had his own hand on the waist of fucking steel like it was normal.

It felt like Johnny’s life pasted him in manner of terror and the end was moments away, cause all reality was gone and nothing was left of time. Truly though, only a few moments passed before Batman pulled away and patted Superman’s waist, like a lover’s scolding for distracting him.

“Let’s resume this at the cave, the police are on their way and the night is still young in Gotham.” He said, both of them disappearing from the view of the working cameras.

Johnny laid in silence for what felt like hours, wondering if that was real or the hit to the head he took when he crashed through the door. It was a very sturdy door and Superman has a lot of strength.

“I’m gonna go work for tech support.” Sirens drowned him out.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading, remember to tip your waitresses~

**Author's Note:**

> The second chapter is unrelated to the first, it is just keeping with the theme, enjoy~


End file.
